Hey

.......Hey Elijah. I just finished watching "Fury." It wasn't a bad movie. I never thought that random marathon runner at another gym had a share with Brad Pitt. I thought he was a senator for A-Rod. lol hahhahaaha. Random crazy funny. Where did we leave off? I never finished watching the "Wilfred," series for my own personally offended reasons. A comment that I don't completely remember online and a hockey game where I pass out. I know it had something to do with my nakedness being somehow sold out but maybe we were just all in a room together where I really had only a few eyes but big eyes watching me...hmph... It doesn't matter as much now that I'm a stripper does it? It matters to you. ... ..... I don't see myself as dying in vain. I see myself in another history and in another time. When people there ask me why I have my job; I usually just say I have several reasons and leave it at that..... Nazi? Vietnam. Vietnam Elijah, Vietnam. Syrian Muslim? I do get offended when asked. Agnostic Christian. Of course the other talk that you and others have probably been waiting for, and a talk that I refuse to fear. The issue of bisexuality. I know I've run over a lot of women for their lies and arrogance when it comes to that. I am still running over Erin. With Emma, I am not running over her. I saw it all as a shared heart break. Of course I never completely identified myself in her and know there was more than a father-daughter relationship with me and Jon. I do not want or plan on going there with Jon. I could never see myself in a serious relationship with another woman. I have always wanted a man and will always want to be in a relationship with a man. I really did have friends at one time. I know I'm better off alone anymore because of the way people lie and think they deserve to have control or own someone. I know I'm still being terrorized over the control issue now as I type this, and I will keep murdering people in the head for thinking it is their right to subject me to their self and I get so upset myself sometimes when people do not back down and I feel I am being forced to murder for my own rightful defense. It really is good to know when you're right in your motive, but I understand the heartbreak when someone just doesn't want to give up or back down. I hate being forced to hate or to even have been forced to say the things I've already said because people just won't understand how seriously and sickly wrong they are. I hate how many times I've visualized myself beating a person to death. I will never forgive Jon for the sick rapist juggernaut he has always been. I hate his sick unsorry ass with a passion and could even visualize myself beating the shit out of his rapist Jabba the Hut pig ass. ........ Elijah, I really don't know what your personal WWII is. I am apparently some sort of antagonist being that I'm a "German Nazi". .... I am apparently "dead" in some sort of way too. "Small talks,"? Did you compose or write the lyrics? Sometimes I can go all out on that song, but I don't like to do it often. I can be a cheesy nut. I'm not sure what is completely going on, on your end. I don't know what you want right now. I have you back on my Twitter for the time. I guessed you on my radar but identities and credits can get confusing. As I've previously stated, sometimes it takes awhile for me to be convinced of something. Other than having a brief period of time with you in some way, I don't know if there is more to know about you...

Rhymless Rhythmless Poem of expression...

Something doesn't hit me until it does. I feel hit by a ton of bricks. I think I'm in love. I'm terrified. I'm terrified over a lot of things. I could cry. I am seduced. I want him to approach me soon. I want to give myself to him. I need to be held. I don't know how to handle this. This is too much to try to handle by myself. I know I'm going to be terrified for awhile. If he is another man passing through, this love will be longer to get over. My heart is deeply pierced and hooked. Something doesn't hit me until it does. I don't see or feel something until I do. My mind is racing. What a sudden love and lust. I can't think straight. I'm struggling trying to stand on my own two feet and don't even know whether or not I still am. I'm embracing myself hoping I can embrace him soon too.

As the Sarah Turns

....little peck kisses and whisperings and lustful mind seductions..... Kitten or seriously Murderous and blood thirsty sex panther? While they both can be called the truth, you just want me to be and want to only see me as your kitten. Why don't I get real in a truthfully seduced way? Why will I only vehemently scream at you knowing the way you pet me and pounce on me? Is it that I am being naïve? Is it that I want to live a double life or secret life? Is it that I'm in a certain denial of yours where I don't know how the denial is defined?....kisses and whisperings... Well Jon, if you can't take the mystery of it anymore, than I'll give it away now.... I know the story is the same. While you could say I am your most preferred or crème de le crème, I still have not bought that one. Your tactic and method to my anger and violence is that you want to challenge yourself to seduce me out of it, and then later, you will tell me about the liar you were and that couldn't be anymore. I still just don't trust you. Besides my long term distrust is how much damage you've done in my life. And how much I will always hate the scars, tyranny, and lies you've murdered me with. I don't know how I'm being judged by you right now, or even the level of fool you are, I just know I'm not the fool. Just because I can be a horny and seduced bitch doesn't mean that I'm a fool. I do feel humiliated by how horny I can sometimes be, but I just can't help but get horny sometimes. It is just not ok to lie to me or about me or about who I am as a person. You made your most fatal mistakes when you compared or subjected me in any which way to your other women. You've made other fatal mistakes to, but when you violently raped me into being Django, you really made one of the worst mistakes you'll ever make in your life. It isn't easy to get horny and seduced back into you, but you know some of the good things and slight impressions you made that make it just a tad bit easier. However, nothing can make up for it. You really should have accepted and respected the separationist I have always been and stopped trying to control me out of my real mother nature and person I have been. I really do hope to find friends one day, but that is for me to decide, and also to decide in my own time. I really do hope I find people out there who I do find as being acceptable and normal. Life wasn't meant to be lived alone, but if things have to be a certain way, that is just the way they have to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm not necessarily subjecting you to Paul Rudd, I'm just saying his approach works. If you don't want me to be so quiet and secretive with JUST THE MASTERBATING MIND GAMES AND NOT REAL SEX, you should not keep me vulnerable or make me feel helpless to your lies, rigging lies, that lie something else about me: I'm not giving in to what your judgment is or whatever it is you think of me. I'm not conformed to you. I never have and never will give in or be acceptable of any of your other women. That it isn't just between me and you. I'm not your conquest. .... All along those lines is the reason I keep myself hush hush and protected. I still feel embarrassed in such an indescribable way, and even though I get seduced doesn't mean I will ever see myself in any kind of trap that you or anyone else could want to make. I guess this will depend on you from here on out. No relationship, just whatever your masturbating mind game booty calls are. I'm the one where it needs to be said I should have you seduced out of your violence more than you, but if you share the credit and not put it all on your pig, I could share the credit too.