Plucking More Petals: He loves me, he loves me not

I've had my eye on you and your subtleties David. While I have "proposal" fright, I also am growing weary of your games. Some men have played games before where I have thought they were trying to make me jealous or intentionally test me. I have also faced betrayals when discovering some women have not always been a jealousy tool......... Maybe you are just intending to play bad cop with me to find out more of what I think of several different women. I've already said everything I've needed to say and think I'm the last who should ever be treated as the criminal after all of the gang rape I've suffered. I don't know why some people won't see some men or women for the intentional childish tormenters and testers they are? I'm to be treated as the criminal because I refuse to let a dominate win? Some people have looked over the obviousness of how many sore losers I have. I really did want to ignore Jon's obviousness in being an intentional suck it tormentor today, but you just had to keep making me guess and ask you "WHY?" I really wish you would convince me more and do more to win me over David. I know I sometimes just want to scream at how fast I think you move and how quick of a decision I feel I should make knowing I don't know much about you..... I know you're leading me on more with your proposals while you keep gaming me. "A Beautiful Mind," was it another pass and proposal or are you trying to tell me you have schizophrenia, or see me in your head too and are not sure what to think? ..... My mind races over a lot of thoughts and I'm not the best in being organized at getting more of my triggered thoughts out. I finished Aquarius. Although there is no talk of a sequel, there must obviously be some kind of second season. I thought it was going to be one of those shows where it was only meant to be a season, but they sure are making a very long story out of that and the piece of history. The last episode was definitely not any good news for me. You look like you're just like the rest of the other men to gang rape and betray me with a mean and mysterious agenda. I was pretty mad at the last episode. Maybe you are just purely acting and there are no catches or more women for me to be jealous over. ....... For now, you have me in a 75% belief that you are a passive aggressive ALL or NOTHING to playing jealous games. I don't like to be a burned and hurt fool David. I could completely be your Mazzy and give you my all but I just don't know how to make that connection with your passive aggressive games and me not being able to be fully convinced. I also think you move too fast which is tough when you become all or nothing. I know I hardly know you but sometimes I wish I could just foolishly let myself feel swept off my feet more and be convinced that you really are sweeping me off my feet..... The other 25% is that you are only playing good cop/ bad cop using love as your manipulation. What do I need to believe about you David?